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Search One-liner. TOP funniest one-liners on the internet! Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.

Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness. Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more Funny one line sex jokes standing in a garage makes you a car.

We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police. Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship. The last thing I want to Funny one line sex jokes is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich. We never really grow up, Funny one line sex jokes only learn how to act in public. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up. Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason. My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to Funny one line sex jokes you why it isn't. One-liners that did not make it to the TOP !

Go To Runners-Up. Home Browse Search Submit a One-liner. If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

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